Love at Last Stumble
by Carla Shaqui
Summary: AU SSSB Repost; After Remus dumps him, Sirius stumbles Down to Severus. Turns out they have quite a bit in common.
1. Default Chapter

CHAPTER ONE  
  
"What the-" Serverus Snape, most hated teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, was not a morning person. Not a night person either come to think of it. In fact, he would be the first to tell you he was not an any-time-of-the-day person. So when at 3:15 in the wee hours of a Saturday morning, someone comes a-banging on his door, Snape was sure whoever it was, was not expecting a big smile and an offer of a cup of tea and biscuits.  
  
Stumbling out of bed, mind still fuzzy from the, ahem, enjoyable dream he had been so rudely awakened from, grasping a dressing gown, (or what he thought was a dressing gown and was actually a silk negligee from Thursday nights "date"), he staggered to the door.  
  
"Voldermort had better have risen from the dead!" he muttered as he clutched the door handle.  
  
"Black? What the hell are you doing here?"  
  
"G'morning Sev-er-ra-rus. Do ya wanna lil drink with a long term crimi, crimy, bad guy?" Black stumbled against the door frame and the smell of alcohol on his breathe shocked Snape into stepping back, allowing the man access to his rooms.  
  
"Black of all the idiotic, insane, utterly stupid things you have done over the 40 some years you have been - what the hell do you think you are doing?" Snape's voice rose a couple of octaves as Black stretched out an arm and ran a finger over his dressing gown.  
  
His sqwark of embarrassment, as he realized that Kiara had left her negligee so carelessly where a half asleep professor of potions could grab it, and unfortunately wear it in front of a man he considered an enemy, was only a wee bit higher.  
  
"Pretty Sevvy. I had no idea you had such interesting things in yer wardy- robe. Else I woulda paid ya a nity-nite visit a long time ago." Black collapsed into giggles as Snape crossed his arms over his, er, bodice.  
  
"What are you doing here? Why aren't you with Lupin? Won't he be wondering where his mutt is?"  
  
He stared in shock as Blacks face crumbled. His eyes blinking quickly in an attempt to keep the tears welling in the blue eyes at bay.  
  
"Remmy doesn't love me any more. Remmy found a new man. Actually a woman! Says he don't wanna drive a stick anymore!".  
  
Serverus Snape, as a pureblood wizard who had never had much to do with muggles other than muggleborn wizards at the school, couldn't understand the stick reference, but the gist of what had happened, that he understood. And actually could sympathize with. It was thanks to the betrayal of his long-term previous partner Lucius that he had spent the last year enjoying the pleasures of the flesh with as many different people, male and female, as possible. As one of the heroes in the War against the Moldy Voldie, there were plenty who were happy to 'help out' as it were.  
  
"Come sit down Black, I'll get a sobering potion from my stocks, else your going to be incredibly embarrassed come tomorrow morning."  
  
Sirius Black, former convicted convict, newly pardoned citizen, hero of WWII (Wizarding War 2, the first being against Grindelwald), wandered around Snape's dungeon rooms, with unashamed curiosity, touching books, ornaments and photo frames, even going so far as to pick up one which had been face down on the mantle. Privacy was obviously not an issue that the drunken Black was familiar with.  
  
Snape came back in, (after taking a small detour to his bedroom to change out of the black silk item and into a black silk manly dressing gown), clutching a small vial of a potion, the most foul-tasting that he had, which he usually reserved for students who smuggled alcohol back to the dorm rooms.  
  
"Oh, Sevvie! Why'd ja change?"  
  
"Here, drink this, you bloody git and then you can sit down and have a cup of chamomile tea. I want to go to bed preferably before morning. Just because you don't work other than to sign autographs...."  
  
His grumbling faded into a small smirk as he watched the look on the intruders face as he swallowed the concoction.  
  
"Uggh, Snape, that's disgusting", Black sank into a conveniently placed armchair and placed his head into his hands, muttering to himself as Snape summoned a house elf.  
  
"Carrot, can you get me some chamomile tea from the kitchens please? Thank you".  
  
"I didn't want to be sober you bastard!" Black burst out as Carrot left.  
  
"Ungrateful Sod" thought Snape as he sat down gracefully into his own chair, long, lean body settling into the cushions.  
  
"Look, I am well aware that you wanted to forget whatever it was that caused you to be so upset that you get utterly sloshed and then stumble down to the dungeons and a man you've hated since your school days. But as I have a wee bit of experience in what you are going through, take a bit of advice. Getting drunk, embarrassing yourself, and suffering the hangover from hell as well as the humiliation of people knowing how upset you were, will not make Lupin come back to you. Trust me, Been there, done that, bought the robe. Better to take a calming potion, have a nice long sleep and then act completely dignified the next day, alright?"  
  
"You talking about Lucius?" Sirius Black stared at the dark haired, sleep ruffled man in bewildered shock. Intellectually, he had always known that Serverus Snape was an attractive, intelligent man, but he had always just seen him as the greasy git he had known at school. He certainly never thought of Snape as a sexual being with partners and orgasms. But tonight, he had seen a sexy nightgown, that he was sure Snape would never have bought himself in a million years, and had heard from his own lips how he dealt with betrayal.  
  
"Mmm. Bastard thought that switching sides in the last few weeks of the war meant that he deserved a bit of fun. Huh. But still, probably for the best anyway I suppose."  
  
"How can you be so philosophical about it? You'd been with him since you were what? Fifteen?"  
  
"Mmm bout that. Off and On. Joined the Death eaters for him too. And it's taken me almost a year to get to this point. If you had asked me a couple of months ago, I would have still talked about testicle stew and maybe Penis Pie. Don't ask why they are both foods."  
  
Black chuckled at the slight joke.  
  
"I just... I couldn't understand how one day Lucius could love me so completely, be with me body and soul, be so , so... and then the next want out. I had no warning. Just one day: happy, next day: pain".  
  
"With Remus, I mean, I knew we weren't getting on so well, but like every couple goes through a slump right? I mean we still loved each other. I always told him I did, he always said he did. I mean, so we only had sex once a week or so. But we are getting older right? I mean we can't always shag morning, noon and night. I then I came back to our rooms tonight, last night and he's waiting in there with, with HER. I mean. He needed her to hold his hand as he told me it was over."  
  
"Still, better than finding out from a letter the gits son bought you. Draco gave me the letter and I took it with me while I supervised some Potions exams. Read it in a class room full of Children. Totally idiotic thing to do. Felt like I was going to scream and break things. But at least I never had to actually MEET the person he shacked up with I suppose. Anyway, enough of the memory lane, are you feeling better, Black?"  
  
"Yeah, actually I am", Sirius gave Snape a sheepish smile. "I am sorry about coming and bothering you. Bringing up bad memories and all. I don't even know why I came down here. I was just so upset I suppose."  
  
"I guess it must have been a bit of a shock, being betrayed by Lupin like that", Snape watched Blacks face as the man remembered what had happened the previous evening.  
  
"I guess I should have been expecting something like this. I mean, we have been together since I escaped from Azkaban and that was what? Eleven years ago. Add to that the war, constant hiding, dealing the betrayal of Peter, our guilt at things that were beyond our control." He sighed. "Its really quite amazing that we made it this far without a break. Anyway, he'll soon get bored with HER. We are meant to be together. This is just, a, a detour. Do you know how we met?" Sirius changed the subject abruptly, wanting to remember happier times.  
  
If Serverus realized this, he gave no indication, merely following the ebb and flow of the conversation like stick in a river.  
  
"I'm guessing on the train?"  
  
"Mmm. I was just sitting down and playing with my wand. I said Accio and whoom! Remus comes flying into my carriage. Lands right in my arms. We were both so utterly shocked. Me of my magic and he that one moment he had been walking down the passage and then suddenly he's tossed off his feet and straight into some strange boys arms!"  
  
Snape couldn't help the small snort of suppressed laughter.  
  
"How did you and Lucius get together Serverus?" Black asked. This was a point the had always been curious about.  
  
"I don't know. One day we were just friends. We were studying together in the library. He put his hand on my thigh and said 'Have you ever thought about fucking me?'. Next thing I know, we are back in the dorms having mind- blowing sex. Of course Lucius was a bit of a risk taker. Got off on danger just as much as me, and I was a complete slut when I was a spy. Bit embarrassing when McGonagall came upon us on the quidditch field in sixth year," he smiled as he remembered.  
  
"You get off on danger? Ever tried it in the staff room? Or the potions classroom?"  
  
Serverus laughed aloud. "Potions classroom, yes. Lucius bent me over my own desk. What about you? Do you like the risk?"  
  
"I love it but Remus preferred a bed. Though I did convince him to take a risk with the transfig. Classroom. That was about a month ago. Do you know, it never occurred to us that you and Lucius might still be together. I mean you were obviously fucking at school. I mean, I remember being in History of Magic with the two of you and watching Lucius as he put his hands under the desk and a few seconds later you'd go all stiff and lean over to him, whispering fiercely".  
  
"Oh my god!" Serverus sat bolt upright, :You mean everyone knew? Lucius always told me there was no way ... Merlin how embarrassing! Though it does explain why the teachers always tried to make Lucius and I sit on opposite sides of the room, and gave us separate detentions! Not that it worked. Lucius would just write erotic notes".  
  
"Didn't you get caught with one of those once?" Sirius leaned forward in his chair, watching in amusement as the normally dour Potions Professor's high cheekbones were suffused with the pink color of his blush.  
  
"Yeah, again it was McGonagall. It was so embarrassing when she started reading it out and then stopped and blushed an amazing red as she realized what the note said! 'I can't wait to take you in my mouth and suck, err um, Detention Mr. Snape.'" they both laughed as they remembered.  
  
"She kept the damn note too. I'm sure that she got off on that!"  
  
"Well you and Lucius did make an attractive couple".  
  
"Don't be silly Black", Snape seemed to take offence at that. "Beautiful Blond Lucius Brandin Malfoy and ugly, dark Serverus Alberico Snape. I know that I was shocked. I mean, by Morgan Le Fay! He could have had anyone he wanted. Did you know he liked to use Polyjuice?"  
  
"Your kidding? Who did he like to become?"  
  
"No, he liked me to use it."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Don't be stupid Black, because I was ugly and Lucius hated the idea of a monogamous relationship, while I insisted on it. There was no way I was going to catch an STD because of his poor taste in men. This way he still got to play around, and I still got to have a Lucius to myself without risk. It was fun. I'd spend a week watching whoever Lucius wanted me to be the next weekend, learning their mannerism, their habits, etcetera, etcetera."  
  
"That must have been time consuming and slow".  
  
"Mmmm. Still, was good training for being a Death Eater. And a Spy. So anyway, you live in Lupin's rooms don't you? Are you planning on going back there?"  
  
He watched as Black looked sick. "I really don't want to".  
  
"Its alright. You can have the pull out. Albus gave it to me a few years ago"., Serverus sighed.  
  
"Thanks Serverus. I just don't think I could face him tonight".  
  
"Fair enough. Come on. Drink your tea and lets go back to bed. I haven't had to pull an all-nighter since the end of the war. I think I'm too old to pull one now." 


	2. A Plan

**CHAPTER TWO**

"Thanks for this Sev." Sirius smiled as he followed him into the bedroom, his arms carrying a large green and blue duvet.

"Well, I have been where you are now. I just want to stop you from making an ass of yourself like I did. Morgana Le Faye! I was so ashamed."

"Why what did you do?"

"I um... I confused Draco and Lucius", Serverus muttered, cheeks again suffused in a pink blush.

"Oh dear." Sirius attempted to stifle the truly juvenile guffaw that threatened to erupt from his mouth. "They do look awfully alike don't they?" Apparently sober Sirius was aware of the fact that Serverus could castrate him in a moment.

"Yes, well, you might not have the same problem, but I do know that alcohol is probably not the best idea to take when you are feeling upset. Now, give me the duvet and I'll make up the bed. I'm tired and need a sleep. Kiara wore me out the other night now you have done it tonight."

"Old Man," Sirius laughed. "That negligee did look good on you though, See you in the morning. And thanks for this."

"Shut up and go to sleep Black."

And all was peaceful.

Severus woke up the next morning to the sound of the door closing softly. Years of spying on the infamous Lord Voldermort, AKA Tom Marvolo Riddle, AKA "Yes Master, Please Crucio Me again", had honed his senses to what could be considered a rapier point, (if a mans senses could be considered an inanimate object). Pretending to sleep he listened to the noise of a man moving around his bathroom and living area. It had been awhile since someone had stayed over the night and used his things so casually. Eventually the door leading to the dungeons opened and closed and Black had gone.

So, with a sigh of relief, Severus headed into his bathroom, only to stop in awestruck horror. Thinking back to the previous night/morning, he was sure that there had only been one Griffindor in his quarters. And yet, by the state of his small, practical bathroom, an entire tribe of the red-clothed monsters had raged a war against his shower and managed to subdue it after a valiant struggle against tremendous odds and a lilac patterned shower curtain.

Since the unfortunately traumatic event of a house elf walking in on Severus and two quite comely lasses of Australian origin, elves had been banned from entering his quarters, ensuring that Severus knew all the cleaning spells known to man and Molly Weasley. At the thought of how long it would take him to clean up the mess, he deeply regretted ever saying a cross word to the elf population at Hogwarts.

After a quick clean using the relatively un-scarred basin, and resolving to hold a funeral for the curtain, Severus, hair still wet, left for a breakfast of pancakes and syrup and the sight of Lupin's new female lover.

But all did not go according to plan for the potions master this fine Saturday Morning. Instead of watching Sirius Black squirm at the sight of his lover's new partner, he found Lupin had pushed him into a corner. Years of working with the Griffindor contingent, had unfortunately left him with a heroic streak a good inch and a half wide. And so he decided to make Lupin pay. And if it humiliated Black at the same time, so be it, he thought with an internal evil grin. So the streak was closer to an inch wide. I claim writers priviledge.

**Sirius Point Of View**

"Hey Love, you left the bathroom a mess this morning" Severus Snape spoke suddenly at my ear, an arm curving around to my chest and starting to tweak my nipples. I admit I squawked in shock.

Well it's not everyday that the most disliked and, (according to Remus), slutty professor to ever cross the threshold of Hogwarts, should start acting so familiar with my body. And in front of your partner, ex-partner. What ever.

"Sn..Severus.. Wha"

"You and Snape? Sirius! I had no idea I hurt you that badly! You are better than that Sirius! I swear, you will find some one soon." Remus' patronizing tone made me grit my teeth and I sensed Severus was struggling to hold back his laughter but when he spoke, his voice was completely serious.

"I have been trying to convince Sirry for months to finally tell you about us. I'm so relieved its finally out in the open. I am sorry Lupin, but you have to see that Sirius and I are meant to be together. And we have been sleeping together for so long now and it's so nice that.... Are you okay Lupin?"

I couldn't help gaping at the nonsense spouting from Snape's mouth.

"I... uh... I".

"Sirius! You fucking Wanker! You lying, deceitful piece of.. "

"Remus.. I swear I..."

Remus turned and stormed off, throwing a tantrum as bad as when we were third years. I turned to Snape ready to rip him a new one, when he grabbed his wand and erected a silencing bubble to stop anyone from hearing what we are speaking about.

"Listen, before you say anything I have an idea. You want Lupin back right?"

I nod speechlessly at Snape's snapped question.

"And I want Lucius back so we play the jealousy card. I'll play up to you around Lupin, you play up to me around Lucius, okay? You move into my rooms, We act nicey-nicey and boom. Before you know it, everything is right with the world again! What do you think?"

What was I supposed to say? I wanted Remus back.

I waved the bubble away and put my arm around Snape's, I mean Severus' waist.

"Come on Love, I could really do with a big plate of bacon and eggs."

"Ughh! Sirry, it's too early in the morning for that. Pancakes and syrup. That's the ideal Saturday morning breakfast."

By now we had entered the dining hall, and we felt the eyes of the staff on us.

"I think we are causing a bit of stir Black" Snape muttered into the side of my neck, pretending to nuzzle me.

"Well, no one is used to you being so demonstrative with anyone. Should I sit with you?"

"mm. And then I can act deliciously in lust... ur... love. Whatever."

They reached the table and immediately Severus reached for the syrup and the thick, ginger flavoured cream.

"I never would have guessed you had such a sweet tooth Sev."

Authors Note: PLEASE READ Even if you don't usually bother.

If you are reading this and have your own idea where this should go, PLEASE feel free. Keep Chapter 1 as is, but from chapter two on... Go YOU! Please keep it SB/SS though. That and RW/DM are the bestest pairings in the world of Snape. Just lemme know so I can read it.Pretty Pretty Please with an image of Sirius and Severus on top.... Covered in cream....

HUGE Thank You's to:

Enahma. Thanks for your review. It was my First ever. Sends a big bouquet of cyber roses and a mental image of Snape slathered in Syrup. No wait, I'm keeping that. I'll send you a review on your own stories instead okay? Although I don't usually read hetro-romance. Have taken your advice, as you may have noticed so thanks heaps for your help. Sorry your review isn't on the review thingy but after I deleted and reposted it wasn't there. Thanks heaps though.

Everyone else. I PROMISE I have read your reviews. And Loved each and everyone of them. Problem is, as you will have read on my author page thingy... y'know. The page you go to when you click on my name.. anyway, if you go there you will see why I can't update very often – read as once every three months – and why I am throwing my story to the hungary Voices out there.


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